Wow… Has it really been an entire year since I've posted? I should do something about that for all my adoring fans. I was all set for another wonderful night of the Oscars. A late afternoon phone call sent me off to the ER instead. Fortunately for all of you, a TV was in the waiting room and I got to watch some of the awards show.

A few predictions. Ang Lee wins, but Brokeback Mountain doesn't. Reese is a lock. I think Weisz is the favorite, but I'm picking Michelle Williams thinking the "mediocre actor on a bad TV drama to Academy Award winner" streak continues. Clooney has to win something, so he wins. Brokeback has to win a couple lest Holllywood feel homophobic, so Ledger wins.

I liked Jon Stewart's monologue. Lots of subtle humor that I think is going to be a little too subtle. Are most people going to get why this is the first time most people in the room have voted for a winner? I doubt it. As promised, he kept it pretty light, which makes baby Jesus happy. The HoYay tribute is funny, but not as funny or as well done as the internet's "Brokeback to the Future." (If the creator happens to read this, good job.)

Clooney wins and I'm one for one. He starts his speech by acknowledging there's no way he's winning best Director now. The Oscars are a joke.

WTF is the matter with Ben Stiller? Does he think this is even remotely funny? Any molecule of my body that didn't hate him before hates him now.

Apparently I'd forgotten just how enormous Dolly Parton's breasts are. I'm amazed she doesn't tip over.

I don't remember the first time I saw an awards show use an animated presenter, but I hope this is the last. It's just lame now.

Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep are pretty funny together.

And we're back home watching the end of the Awards. A quick check of the internet tells me that Ledger and Williams lost, so I'm two for four. Not too bad since, once again, I haven't watched any of these movies.

Ang Lee wins. It's nice to see the Academy making up for the Hulk snub of a few years ago.

BTW, if I was a member of the Academy I would have voted for Brokeback. I have no idea if it was the best movie, but I like pissing the far right off more the far left. Since one of the far's will be pissed off either way, I guess I can't really lose. Is there any chance Hollywood gives it's highest honor to a gay cowboy movie…

Nope. Crash wins and I'm a respectable four for six.

Once again, sorry for the abbreviated review. I'll do better next year.

PS. Just re-read last year's. Dustin Hoffman screwed up presenting again this year. Factor in his forgetting Tom Cruise when accepting his Rain Man Oscar, and maybe he should just stay home next year.